Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Bachelor Drama

Let me start by saying that Ben is a surprisingly good bachelor. He's not the hottest guy on the planet but he is more aware of what's going on than the traditional stupid bachelor. He seems to have that extra sense that most men don't have. Ben thinks about his next move more than most men do. And I love that he almost never says the word "journey". I despise that word and this show tends to bring that word up quite a bit. In a nutshell, I like Ben. You can tell he's a pretty good guy and he's looking for more than a nice rack. It's refreshing.

The villain is now obviously Courtney. At first sight, I thought that she was really pretty. She sort of looks like she could be Selena Gomez's older sister. I love Selena Gomez (I have two young daughters and Selena makes clean music that makes me dance), so that made me think that Courtney might be alright. WRONG! Once she started speaking, it all went to hell in a handbag for me. She is always doing weird shit with her face, almost like her lips are numb or she has some weird nervous tick where her mouth just moves out of control. She also has that "I'm a model, so I'm way better than everyone else attitude". That alone is obnoxious, add to that her strange puckered mouth and her head jerking and it's just too much. Ben is still in the honeymoon phase of infatuation with her, so I don't think he notices these things about her. A few months of her twitching would probably start to annoy him. Dave can't handle it at all. It drives him crazy and every time she does it, he looks over at me and asks me to imitate her. He gets a kick out of my Courtney impression.

Now it's time to address the elephant in the room.... Courtneys blatant attempts to go skinny dipping with Ben. I love that he shut her down on the group date. He KNEW that going there would be trouble and most certainly it would ruffle a lot of the other girls feathers. I don't picture Brad Womack having that same understanding of the potential damage it could cause. So Ben shuts her down on the group date. I loved it. I love when Ben swears in frustration at the camera. It's the best part of the show, no doubt. So then he gets stuck taking Elyse (Jersey Shore) out on the yacht for her one on one date. It goes sour really quick and he gives her the boot. He heads back to his hotel room and what do you know, villain Courtney is waiting for him in her robe, with two wine glasses. CHEESY! She works her magic and gets into Ben's room. The stupid shit she says once she's in there is to dumb to repeat. I threw up in mouth just hearing her say it the first time. So, somehow or another, they end up out on the beach and she convinces him it's time to skinny dip in Puerto Rico. She gets naked and away they go. I don't hate on Ben for going along with this. He is, after all, a single horny dude and what does he stand to lose by giving it a go? Maybe he got a handy out of it, who knows. He later says something cryptic about how they shared an intimate moment. He played it well, because he got some sexy time with a lady he likes and the other women were none the wiser. He's single. It was gross to watch, but I'm not a player hater. Well played Ben.

So onto the rose ceremony. I won't say who went home cause I've already forgotten her name, (the redhead he likes makin' out with) but I will say I was surprised she got the boot. She seemed to take the bad news well. She walked out to the exit vehicle and behaved like the classy, put together lady that she is. They say their goodbyes and there aren't any tears. She holds it together and gets in the car for her exit interview. So the second she gets in the car, she loses it big time, crying like a fool. My theory is that the camera man and the driver are wearing gas masks because the vehicle is clearly being pumped full of tear gas. That is the only explanation for the sob fest that begins in that car. And I would guess that she is being questioned like this, "So Sally, Ben hates you and he thinks you're ugly and unlovable. Any reaction to that? By the way Sally, both of your cats got hit by a car right before the rose ceremony. We didn't want to tell you until now. You do realize that this was your last chance for romance and this means you'll die childless and alone Sally. How does that make you feel? Ben said he would have proposed to you if you would have just touched his weiner a little on your date. You blew it big time Sally, any thoughts? By the way honey, I should warn you that your make-up is going to look awful in High Definition and this camera will add ten pounds, minimum. Go ahead and cry Sally. Let it all out."

1 comment:

  1. What a perfect recap! Love to hate stupid model Courtney and her skinnydipping ways and facials. Ugh. And I'm always thinking about the camera guys interviewing the sobbing girls too. Love it! SO WISH we could watch together...