Men's Glitzy Bum Jeans

Last weekend we were overjoyed to get out of the house and go to the annual Boat Show at the South Towne Expo Center. The girls had a ball and Dave and I were able to drool and dream about all the newest and coolest boats. We will never actually buy a brand new fancy boat, but it's fun to look and make fictitious plans about the future. We dare to dream!

Our actual boat is small, old and it was very cheap! We bought it from a guy who lived down the street from us. He was the original owner and he was one of those guys that probably vacuums his garage. This boat is from 1987, but it looks new. The upholstery is perfect and you can just tell he took very good care of it. Every time we take it out, men with fancy boats will come up to Dave and comment on how well cared for it is. It's not big, but it's easy to manage. Our kids can spill a little juice on the seats or get some sand on the carpet and we don't have to freak out. I love this about it.

So we are at the boat show and I'm getting a real lesson in the actual price that you have to pay you to own a fancy, new boat. Boats that I see on the water and guess are about $40,000 are actually closer to $80,000! My jaw dropped. I also saw that a lot of these pricey boats had SOLD signs on them. Who is buying these expensive boats. Some of them were seriously over $100,000. WHO CAN AFFORD TO DROP THAT KIND OF CASH ON A BOAT? I mean, we live in Utah! It's not like you need to use this boat to get around. You can only use it for like 5 months out of the year. I'm not surrounded by the kind of men that can afford to take out a second mortgage on a boat, I just don't get it. So I start looking around and what do I see? Lots of grown men wearing glitzy bum jeans. Tons of white top stitching! More rhinestones than any grown man should wear! Lots of decorative bum pocket flaps. We even saw a real life Pauly D blow-out! I couldn't believe it! I try to picture a grown ass man walking into a store and seeking out a pair of glitzy bum jeans. I picture him grabbing a few options and walking proudly into the fitting rooms. He tries on the first pair. They feel nice! Then he turns around to see what's happening in the rear view. "Are these fancy enough, decorative enough?" he asks himself. "I wanted excessive white top stitching, but this looks almost off white. I can probably get over the color of the stitching because there are enough rhinestones to make up for it and the glitzy logo is HUGE! Yeah, these are the ones! And at $180 bucks they are practically a steal! Jackpot!"

I doubt that's how it really happens. It's most likely that the mans girlfriend or wife chooses these jeans for her man. He's busy taking care of the tanning and the body building. So I'm sure some woman tells glitzy bum jeans man that he needs to wear them. I hope so at least. I'm just trying to figure it out myself. But I tell ya what. Every time I see one of these guys, the allure of it is lost on me. This entire post is basically what happens in my head when I see a man dressed this way. I tried to take a picture of what I saw at the boat show, but Dave didn't think it was a good idea for me to walk around the boat show snapping photos of men's glitzy bum jeans. I see the truth of it. The point of the story is this. I wouldn't even want a top of the line Master Craft boat if it means my man has to walk around wearing glitzy bum jeans. No Thanks!