Friday, June 29, 2012

The Review

The story was sort of stupid, but the movie was AWESOME!!!!  That pretty much sums it up but heres the rest of the review....  I was squealing and giggling with delight during the strip scenes.  Channing Tatum is wasting some serious talent being an actor.  He was born to be a male stipper and he should tour the world doing it.  He would sell out stadiums I tell ya!  He's that good.

I wish that the story would have been more on the comedic side, but in all honesty, who even cares about the story?  There was a girl character who acted like she wasn't suseptible to the endless charms of Channing Tatum and I didn't find that to be the slightest bit plausible.  She had a real sour puss look on her face and I got very annoyed with her.  No one could resist Channing!  He could charm the pants off of ANYONE if given the chance.  I'm not even giving my opinion here.  It's a fact.

So the verdict is in:  Lot's of thumbs up!  I didn't need all the talking, but I really enjoyed the enjoyable parts........if you know what I mean.

Somebody Loves Doing Laundry...

...And it ain't me!
Dreams really do come true!  Mine came true yesterday.  My darling (almost six year old) daughter, discovered that she LOVES doing laundry.  Now don't jump to conclusions.  I don't require my kid to do the laundry.  I normally do it and ask the kids to take small piles of folded clothes to their own rooms.  They love this game (go figure???).  But last night, Sasha asked if she could fold all the dry clothes and put them away.  I said okay and began to help her.  She then made it clear that she REALLY wanted to do it all by herself.  I believe her words were, "How can I learn to be responsible if you're helping me do all the hard stuff?"  Point taken.

Fast forward twenty minutes and she's still at it and she's having a great time.  She was really enjoying every second of it.  She was talking to herself in her grown up, responsible voice.  It was adorable.  I didn't want to interupt her but it was time for her to shower and go to bed.  I asked her several times to leave the rest of the clothes alone and get in the shower.  She came into the bathroom looking upset with me and she said, "I know I have to shower, but it's hard to get excited about it when I've got so much laundry on my mind."

She did all of her bedtime routine and as I finished tucking her in, she said, "I'll get a lot of rest tonight so I have lot's of energy for laundry tomorrow."  And then in a giddy voice that you normally only hear on Christmas Eve, she said, "I just can't wait to do more laundry tomorrow!"

I hope this lasts for a very long time!  She's made all my wildest dreams come true!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Don't Be THAT Girl!

Last weekend, while at Pineview Dam, I saw a sight that oozed desperation.  I think the woman was shooting for Carrie Bradshaw Fashionista, but it just looked desperate and stripper-ish.  I saw a woman wearing high heels to the beach.  Why ladies?  Why? 

You don't look the least bit fashionable.  I know you think you look super sexy, but you don't.  You look dumb and very uninformed.  You are the envy of no one (unless a fellow beach goer is a drag queen).   The truth is that every man, woman and child that sees you has this thought pop into their head, "Are you freaking kidding me?  What is it about sand and water that tells you heels are absolutely appropriate for today?"  My five year old noticed this immediately and turned to me and said, "Well that's not a very good idea!"  My kindergarten graduate has more sense than the grown woman in heels at the beach....and she's FIVE!

The womans face (if anyone even looked up to see it) was really pretty, but the heels on the beach just scream "I'm VERY insecure!"  I feel bad for the man that signed on to rebuild her self esteem every hour on the hour.  The point is that she looked desperate and sort of pathetic.  Swimwear with heels is appropriate for pagents (Miss. America or Miss. Hawaiian Tropic) and pole dancing.  Heels don't belong on a regular gal walking in sand.  It's not functional or appropriate.  If you can't be attractive in flip flops, don't kid yourself into believing that four inch heels are going to transform you into a Victoria's secret model.  It ain't gonna happen!  Smarten up!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Does this make me a book snob?

Right at this moment, society has decided that the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy is the BIG THING!  I read the first book and it was all that I had been told it would be.  It was pretty good.  It wasn't full of twists and turns, it was full of sex!   It wasn't great writing, but I was curious enough to continue, so I finished the first book.  I have gotten more than half way through book two and I'm bored!  I am finding it difficult to finish this one. 

Certain things about the book are really starting to bug me!  I have a friend, who also reads a lot of books, who also finds this series a bit annoying.  I swear on my life neither of us are book snobs, but when you read books written by great, imaginitive writers with tons of writing experience and great editors, you start to get a little spoiled. We had a talk about it and here are the points we find so irritating about the Fifty Shades series.

Inner Goddess.........oh my hell I will lose it if I hear this term used again.  It's cheesey, especially when it's used repeatedly.  So when I'm forced to read that  Anna's Inner Goddess is doing back flips, I start to get a little bugged.

"Laters baby".........If a man said these words to me, I would hope I heard him wrong.  Laters??????  What is with the "S" at the end of the word later?  I don't get it and I find it annoying.  The thought of women all over the world finding this sexy is mind boggeling.  I would throw up in my mouth if  a man said this me, especially if he thought he was being really sexy.  It bothers me.

Anna's lip biting......Okay, we get it!  Christian gets super horny when Anna bites her lip.  We don't need to be reminded of it on every third page.

Anna's never hungry and Christian wants her to eat!...........Just eat already!  If your billionaire boyfriend's chef makes you a meal, just freaking eat it.  The book never once says that you are anorexic, so eat the damn sandwich.  She acts like a toddler in this sense.  Maybe I'm so sick of telling my own kids to eat their dinner again and again, but this bothers me when refering to an adult.   People eat food.  People get hungry.  There is no way in hell that Anna doesn't eat anything all day and then she can't possibly stomache a sandwich.  Just eat the food already, you dumb bitch!

Jose (the token hispanic boy who has a crush on Anna)......... The Jose character is so clearly drawn from Jacob the werewolf (Twilight series).  Christain vs. Jose doesn't even come close to Edward vs. Jacob.  I think it's so stupid that Jose is even in the story at all.  It seems so obvious that his place in the book comes from the influence of the Twilight series.  The poor brown boy vs. the super rich white boy.  I hope this isn't going to be a theme in all new books.  It only works in Twilight because one is a werewolf and one is a vampire.

And last, but certainly not least.....
Anna the virgin orgasm machine........GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK ALREADY!  I realize that the book is a work of fiction, but Anna's 0-60 in 2 seconds, sexual evolution is absurd.  I wouldn't be surprised if the next chapter involves a trip to Christain's unicorn farm where he also keeps a large aquarium full of mermaids.  Maybe Santa could take them there on his sleigh!

P.S.  The movie will have to be a porno.  I don't see how this could be made into a movie without it being X-rated.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Advice to Your Sixteen Year Old Self

Here we are again, back to the awful first date question list.  And again I'm noticing how horrible this list would be if it were brought out on a first date.  But it's fun for this purpose.  Todays question is relatively simple.  What advice would you give your sixteen year old self?  Now the original list probably said to list 82 bits of advice, but I think just a few will suffice.

Experience tells me not to give a young person much advice at all.  At age sixteen, advice is much like Algebra, in one ear and out the other.  But for the sake of the exercise, I'll coach my young self anyway.

Dear young me,

You end up marrying someone who loves you exactly as you are (and he's several steps up from most of the guys you will date).  You won't have to compete with his "bros" for his attention.  You won't have to force it and you won't have to sacrifice being who you really are to be compatible.  The right relationship will be easy to spot because it will be effortless!   So don't act desperate and NEVER sell yourself short.  What I mean by this, is that it's all going to turn out really good, so don't stress about it!  Oh and one last thing on this topic.  You will date a real A-hole named ****.  Don't do that.  It will be a huge waste of your time.  Save yourself that drama and skip it.  All the other guys will make you laugh at yourself in hindsight, but that one right there is a true D-bag and you'll be furious at yourself for being to dumb to see it.

Your never get arrested!  Go out and have tons of fun!  Party it up with your gal pals and enjoy yourself.  Your friends are great people and you have so many fun nights ahead of you.  Take lots of vacations with your friends.  Just spend the money and do it.  The time of life that happens after high school, but before marriage is short and it's critical that you make it count.  Travel with those girls as much as possible.  Go to EVERY concert!  Go dancing every Saturday night!  You will be so glad you did.

Have fun and enjoy the ride!  It all turns out great!

P.S.  Your first apartment  not only has free cable, but you have HBO!  Flip through the channels one by one until you find it (your stupid remote will skip right over that channel because your T.V. sucks).  Don't waste that first two years being oblivious!  You can watch Sex and the City and the Sopranos from the comfort of your own couch.  You will never have stolen cable again and you really should enjoy it while you do. 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

She's a Big Girl Now!

Isn't this a cool bed?  I loved it from  the moment I saw it at Down East.  I got this little gem for such a bargain and it's basically been the spare bed at our house for months.   Lyla put her foot down yesterday and decided she was ready to take ownership of the big girl bed.  After a bit of rearranging and a little heavy lifting, Lyla got her wish.  This little beauty (dolled up with bright bedding) is now the centerpiece of my 3 year olds room.  Last night she slept in it for the first time.   It wasn't all smooth sailing, she did wake up three times in the middle of the night (unheard of for her).  One time she needed a bathroom break, the second was to tell me, in a groggy haze, that she "hates this bed" and the last time was for the all important, drink of water.  It was a long night, but she slept in this morning and I bet she'll be totally used to it in a day or two.

I liken the experience to sleeping in a strange bed the first night of a vacation.  I never sleep soundly the first night.  I don't know why, but my brain constantly reminds that "this bed is not the one we're used to".  I often wonder if all brains are hard wired this way or if it's just a malfunction of mine?

The intro of the big girl bed is also the exit of the crib.  It's a huge milestone here.  I'm genuinely starting to think that we've probably seen the last of the crib and diaper days.  I always assumed that I'd be 100% certain about when my family was complete, but it's so not the black and white scenario I thought it would be.  Who wouldn't love to cuddle another one of their own newborn babies?  That thought is picture perfect, but now I'm so much more informed about all that comes with that......and after that.  Nap schedules, sleepless nights, endless diapers, crawlers, climbers, food allergies (a near certainty in our family), insurance, pre-school costs, activity costs, braces, lessons, college............the list goes on and on.  Who knows what the right number of kids is for our family?  Certainly not Dave and I. 

So we are probably done with the crib but I will store it in the basement.  In all actuality, that's all I can do with it.  It's a drop side crib which the government  now sees as a weapon of mass destruction.  It's basically a certain death trap......though my sisters kids and my kids have miraculously survived it.  No company is allowed to sell them in America, so I'll keep it and take it to an antique roadshow in fifty years and make millions!  Short mothers need drop side cribs.   How the hell else am I supposed to lay a sleeping baby down without dropping the kid?   Answer that one government!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Drop me off at a tropical resort and I will order a Pina Colada as quickly as possible!  Despite the excessive amount of sugar, I also had a long love affair with Malibu Rum.   It would stand to reason then,  that I must love coconut, but I don't!  It's "coconut flavoring" that I love.  Isn't it weird how different the "flavoring" is from the real thing.   I  would never choose to eat real coconut.  In fact I think it's pretty gross.  I think that's why you only see people eat coconuts when they're stranded on a deserted island.  It's a last resort food.  I know it would be for me.  Maybe it's the texture.  It's tough to exactly pinpoint the problem.

On Fathers Day, I baked Dave one of his favorite cakes, German Chocolate.  I like the cake part, but I refuse to eat it, because Dave wants that disgusting coconut pecan frosting on it.  That sickening  frosting has an amazing power.  It repels me from eating cake.  I won't even say what it looks like and the smell of it makes me want to barf.  Dave loves it, go figure???  This is what happens to a person when they are denied sugar cereal and powdered donuts as children.  Their sad little palates learn to find joy in this nasty excuse for frosting.  The upside is that I was able to bake a cake and not take a single bite (is that not a miracle in itself?), the downside is that Dave then ate the entire thing by himself.  

Magic diet food!  Just apply it to high calorie foods and then be to disgusted to eat them!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Dinner with anyone in History?

I came across a list on Pinterest called 30 first date questions (don't ever bust out a list like this on a first date.  Your date will most likely go to "the bathroom" and never ever return.).  I feel that these 30 questions are a bit much for a first date unless the person you go out with LOVES to be put on the spot.   A few of them might make great conversation starters though.  I imagine Dave would have been thoroughly irritated by the time I got down to question 3.  He's not a fan of endless questions.

  I like lists like these, not really for quizzing potential mates, but for trying to answer them for yourself.   It's a great way to get to know yourself.  Go over the list and mentally answer a few for yourself.  Some of them are easy and other require a lot of introspection.  My problem is that I over think them.  It's probably best to just use the first answer that comes to your mind.  Also, many of them say "describe 5 things" or "list 10 things".  To avoid driving yourself crazy, I'd reduce all of them down to listing 3 at the absolute most.  That makes it a bit less overwhelming.

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Today question 25 jumped out at me.  If I could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

Sure there are tons of dead celebs that come to mind (history to me means dead....), but surprisingly enough, none of them are them are the first to come to mind.  I would choose Jesus, for obvious reasons.  Post resurrection Jesus, if I could choose that specific time frame.  That meeting would clear up a lot of questions I suppose.
As far as the meal goes.  I guess we'd have some sort of fish and maybe couscous.  Jesus would probably like that and be comfortable eating it.  I'd probably serve water and depending on Jesus' mood, maybe he'd upgrade it to wine.  His choice.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Ever find yourself wanting to have a nice day with your family only to discover that your brood doesn't know how to do that "correctly"?    By correctly I mean, they don't behave in a manner that television shows and commercials have led me to believe that they should.  Sometimes we do simple activities that should make us all very happy and entertained, but instead we argue or get snippy with each other.  Why can't my family drive down a lonely highway in a Honda Pilot and spontaneously start singing Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train?  It looked simple enough in the Honda commercial.  All the family members looked happy and eager to participate.  My peeps don't roll like that.  It irritates me.

Our family car rides go more like this:
We get in the car and pull out of the garage.  Dave then reminds me to shut the garage, because Dave believes that I would never have thought of that on my own.  The fact that I drive my car five days a week without him and I close the garage door every time, seems to be lost on him.  He will also let me know when I need to slow down for a red light and he never forgets to remind me to lock the car in parking lots.  Again, he is the voice of driving wisdom that every 33 year old needs to hear, because she couldn't possibly remember to do these things on her own...

Aside from the back seat driving, our family also contends with a rare condition known as "Everybody-wants-to-be-the-DJ-itis".  Sasha wants to hear song 7....she will literally die of sadness if this song isn't put on immediately!  Don't plan on enjoying any other song because her sadness will wreck it completely.  Lyla wants song 5.  She doesn't know what song that is, but her heart is set on the number 5 so she begs for it.  She is three years old, so it's usually pretty easy just to say, this IS song 5, and she'll be happy.  Sometimes she's not fooled and the water works will follow.  Where does this kid get her endless supply of tears???

Dave will want to hear a song he doesn't know the title of, by a band he can't recall the name of.  His Alzheimer's requests usually go like this, "Remember that one song that I heard one day and I told you I liked it?  It's by a band with a guy singer, at least I think it's a guy.  What's it called?  You know, we heard it that one day when we were driving somewhere.....oh I can't remember where we were going.  C'mon, I know you know it."  I want to have no clue what he's talking about and make him suffer for his lack of memory, but unfortunately I almost always know exactly what he is looking for.   Sometimes if I'm feeling jerky, I'll just pretend I have no clue what he means and let him continue with the worlds most vague song description.

After a particularly tedious car ride with the family, I came up with a brilliant idea!  It had been one of those days where an hour on the freeway seemed like an eternity.  Lyla was kicking the back of my seat.  The girls would not stop bothering, touching, hitting, poking each other.  The whining and squealing was constant and my teeth gritting threats where useless.  If we'd seen a road side stand offering vasectomies, I'd have pulled over and shoved Dave and my credit card out the door.  We've all had at least one car trip like this.  So I got a fantastic idea and instead of making my dream a reality, I just wrote it as a status update on faceboook.  I finally got around to making it in E-card form.  Tell me this isn't a great idea for any family.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Bachelorette Look Alikes

I loved when I found the photo of Bachelor Ben next to a photo of Francine from Arthur.  Ben had reminded me of someone else all season long and I just couldn't figure it out on my own.  Someone else did the leg work on that one and I was forever grateful.  I mean seriously, is this not perfect?

 I have yet another fella from the show that looked so familiar and yet I just couldn't place it.  I re-watched Monday nights Bachelorette episode, with my husband who'd missed it, and it all came together.  I studied Ryan (goose egg haircut guy) and all at once it hit me!  Take and look and tell me if didn't NAIL this one.

The grown up version is Ryan.  The kid version would clearly be Little Critter!

Ryan as a child....Little Critter!
 I'm so relieved that I can stop trying to solve that mystery and just enjoy the show.

There is one other guy whom I adore and it took me no time at all to recognize who he reminds me of.   I think Shawn is great and I really hope Emily chooses him in the end.  I didn't notice him much at first, but he is moving to the head of the pack every week.  If you recall, all of Emily's girlfriends really took a liking to Shawn.  I'm sure those positive comments about Shawn have a lot of weight in Emily's opinion of him.  Dave and I noticed right away that Shawn look a lot like my cousin.  He's sort of a hybrid mix of two brothers but he reminds me most of this cousin in particular.  Am I crazy here or is Shawn the long lost son of my aunt and uncle?

Shawn from the Bachelorette
My handsome cousin

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

When the Cat's Away.......

The mice will play!   Or rather the mother mouse will watch loads of trash t.v. and forget to go to bed before 1:00 A.M.

This last week Dave has been on call for work.  Saturday night he got called out and last night, before he even got home from work, he was called out again.   I hate that this happens, because I know he's tired and needs  some rest.  That being said, I also secretly like the change in the regular routine.  The t.v. is all mine!  Angry Birds.......all mine!  Time alone (never happens with kids).....all mine!

I go nuts with the freedom to do whatever I choose, with no compromise.  What often happens is this.  I put the kids to bed and then I sort of panic about free time management.  I want to read in complete silence, but I'm compelled to watch The Real Housewives of ANYTHING!  I don't even follow these shows (hard to believe I know) but I want to watch them when I'm alone, simply because I can.  I hope that I'll catch the biggest drama episode of the season and then be "in the know" for months because I'm up to speed with Kim and Nene's big feud.  I want to know what is wrong with Vicki's face.  I want to see Teresa flip a freaking table!  Why am I compelled to watch this stuff?  Is it because the shows are great or is it because these programs go way past Dave's reality T.V. limits. 

Don't get me wrong, Dave is very generous with his trash viewing list.  He enjoys the Bachelor and Bachelorette,  America's Next Top Model, The Voice, Jersey Shore, Kendra, Project Runway and he'll even watch Fashion Police if it's already on the screen.  He refuses to watch it from the DVR list.  I know he only likes it because he has a monster crush on Guiliana Ransic (though he wishes she'd fatten herself up a bit).  He openly admits that he thinks she's so adorable and he loved her old last name, Depandi.  Who wouldn't?  That's the cutest last name ever!  Maybe for Christmas this year I'll begin the process of legally changing our families last name to Depandi!

Last nights alone time was a frenzy of activity.  After putting the kids to bed, I discovered that they were both dying of thirst, and why not, they hadn't had a drink for nearly twenty minutes!   Somehow, amidst this severe dehydration, they both had to go pee (again!) after returning to their beds for five minutes.  After the drinks, the pee breaks and the shouting of my catch phrase, "GO TO BED ALREADY!  If you can't sleep, just close your eyes and pretend to sleep!  NO MORE ANYTHING!  I LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICES UNTIL MORNING!!!!!", it was getting late. 

I decided to speed shower, and play ten levels of Angry Birds!  After that major time suck, I had to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms and watch my show, The Bachelorette!  It was riveting as always and I'm looking forward to watching it again with Dave tonight.  After that I powered through and watched my newest reality show, "Breaking Pointe".  It's a reality show that follows some members of the Salt Lake City based dance company, Ballet West.  That's right folks, my dreams have come true and there is now a great reality show filmed right here in Salt Lake!!!!!  I don't count Sister Wives, because it's embarrassing and disgusting!  Plus I heard that they were moving out of Utah.........good riddance!

So my new show is all about the ballet world and it's SOOOO not what you'd expect.  There is a lot of drama.  They all date each other and despite what Dave guessed, the guys are VERY heterosexual and super ripped!  This show is great for me and a tough pill for Dave to swallow.  It seems to push his limits, so I had to watch it when he wasn't home.  I love it!  I love that I can recognize most of their locations and I just know I'll totally want to go see the ballet once I get all invested in the drama.   I'm really pumped about this show, now I'll just hold my breath and hope that Bravo is working out the details for The Real Housewives of Utah and my casting call is coming soon!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Pinterest: Too Many Great Ideas!!!

I love the Pinterest site.  It has given my mind a rest.  Here's what I mean, if I love a photo or an idea, I can just pin it to one of my categorized boards and forget about it.  I know it's there, so I don't constantly have to try to remember the picture or where I might find it again.  I can take a look at them later when I'm actually ready to be inspired by them.  I get to keep all these little tidbits without living like a paper hoarder!  It's all safe and sound (and tidy), tucked away on a digital "board".

I know a lot of people pin great ideas or great craft projects and never look at them again, but I don't do that.  I have done a lot of crafts that I found on Pinterest.  The ideas are almost always very inexpensive and it's fun to do them.  I've also found lots of pictures of projects I did before Pinterest and it's interesting to see another persons method of tackling the same project a different way.  It's all a learning process.......but fun.

I've also found some great recipes and, oddly enough, great home based workout ideas.  There are fantastic hair inspirations and great ideas for really cute outfits.   I also love all the "Dream Home" ideas.  I can only imagine how much fun it would be to build a house with the aide of Pinterest.   There are so many beautiful design ideas, but also tons of great storage and organizational ideas.  It's a dream come true for my brain!

 Some of my favorites have been:

grout painting

Button art

spray painted pine cones


Monterey Chicken

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Just Say YES!

I don't remember where I heard it or read it, but I recall a fantastic tidbit of parenting advice that I rarely follow.  It simply says, "Say yes, whenever possible."  And so far, so good.

How often do your kids ask you to do something simple, and you say "no" because you can think of some other trivial task you think you need to be doing?  Or you just say "no" because it's easier? This happens to me a lot.  Obviously it would be nice to have all the laundry folded and put away, and I'd love it if my counter tops were spotless at all times, but it isn't a life or death situation.  It doesn't HAVE to be done right now.   So when I'm doing one of these dreary jobs and my daughter asks me to braid her hair, or help her with a puzzle or play Wii sports with her, I'm just going to stop what I'm doing and say "yes!".  It doesn't always work out and they understand that, but when I can, I'm going to say yes.

It's so simple and it brings the girls so much joy, and I'm recognizing that I just don't do it enough.  Twenty minutes ago, Sasha asked me to paint her nails and I just said, "Okay, let's do it!" .  This took her completely by surprise.  She flat out told me that she was sure I'd say no.  She was so happy that I stopped what I was doing and did something kind for her.  Lyla wandered over and asked to have her nails painted and of course I said yes.  She was thrilled, because I rarely ever paint my three year olds nails.  Will the polish look gorgeous tomorrow?  No.  Will it be a chipped mess for the rest of the week?  Yes, but it was free and it made them so happy, so who cares?

I want my kids to grow up to be awesome people, but I also want them to have a great childhood.  I hope they feel like they got to savor the joys of being kids instead of be rushed into growing up.  So many things that kids love to do are messy and I struggle with that, but I need to get over it!  My mom let me dress up in her clothes, play in her make-up and she even let me "pretend" to cook in the kitchen.......with real ingredients.  I made huge messes and I'm sure it wasn't fun for her to clean up after me, but the point is that I'm 33 and I vividly remember those fun activities she'd let me do.  We didn't have cable, the internet wasn't invented yet and there weren't so many pricey kid-friendly activities available, but I was very entertained.  All because she said yes when she could.

                                                        Try it for a day!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hair Stylist Humor

I can't wait any longer!!!!

Magic Mike
Magic Mike is the name of the movie.  I've seen the preview 3 times and I can't wait any longer to see the movie.  Unfortunately, this gem of a movie isn't coming out until the end of June!  I have waited all winter for June to arrive, because I love summer, but I'm on the verge of wishing June away!  This is how pumped I am to see the show.

Roughly one month ago my gal pal Jessica and I made plans to see this movie.  We were devastated to learn that we were in for quite a wait.  I have been trying not to watch the preview again, because it only makes the waiting worse.  I will love this movie and I don't care what any critic will say about it.  This is right up my ally!

If the photo above doesn't clue you in, this movie is about man meat strippers in an all male review.   It's going to be awesome because the entire cast is full of quality skin.  Real life strippers make an effort, but they aren't as good looking as this group, at least the Utah variety.  This might be the most perfect cast of characters.  A little something for everyone and honestly this is the only role that Matthew McConaughey is even qualified for.  I love him as the older perv in Dazed and Confused and I think he's bringing that character back for this show. 

Channing Tatum is the epitome of a male stripper.  I read that he was a male stripper for a short time (I saw that a mile away) and this whole show spins off from his real experiences as a man meat dancer.  I love Channing, but the first time I saw him in a movie, I just instinctively knew he had a history as a male stripper.  There is just something about him that screams stripper.  There is defiantly a certain guy who is predestined for that life and I've seen enough of them to spot them.

Oh, did I mention that my girlfriends and I saw A LOT of male strippers back in the day?  Well we did and it was great.  A Long Island Ice Tea, great friends and an all male review.  This always made for a highly entertaining night.  These guys are starved for attention and it was so fun to feed their self esteem.  Good times were had by all.

  Most of the guys were tons of fun and they usually wanted to go out dancing with us after the show.  You better believe we took them up on the offer.  These are the only guys you want to take to a dance club.  You know they already love to dance and it's like the show just goes on and on.  But that's where it ends.  Everyone knows you NEVER, under any circumstance, date one of these guys!   No friend of mine ever crossed that line and it wasn't a fine line at all........more liked the great wall of China.   This is why I still see man dancers as loads of fun and not completely creepy.

So like I said before, I can't wait to see this movie!  Even if the dialogue is horribly stupid, it won't matter, because that's probably VERY accurate.  It's going to be such a fun gal pal date!  I think Jessica and I already have one more friend who wants to go  see it with us and I would love it if a huge group of us went to see it together.  In a round about way, that's really the point of an all male review.  They bring friends together for a sure fire good time and I'm certain this movie will do just that, only it will be much cheaper than the real deal.  I swear on my life I will be fighting the urge to bring a LARGE stack of one dollar bills to the theater.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Boats and Meats

What a weekend!  It was so hot outside and you know what that means.......BOAT TIME!  We went to Pineview Saturday evening and again for most of Sunday.  It was great to go up twice and get that great feeling that summer has begun.  The only trouble is that Lyla will wake up every morning for the next 5 months with one request.  "Lyla go boat, go fast!  Pweeeese moma!"

So Sunday morning we get on the water really early and make our way to our favorite beach.   We call it  "Two Daughters Beach" because last year every family that parked near us on the beach had two kids that were both girls.  So the name stuck. 

We got our things set up on the beach and it's not long before my poor family starts smelling something wonderful cooking on a grill.  I don't even have to walk up the hill to know that a Mexican family is behind this delicious smell.  Sundays at Pineview are notorious for this.  Giant Mexican families congregate at Pineview to play in the water and eat an enormous feast.  I have packed a cooler full of ham sandwiches, chips and lemonade.  I mistakenly believe I have knocked it out of the park with  the meat sandwiches.  It's usually jelly sandwiches.  But the Mexican beach goers have put me to shame. 

The group of grillers is always an absolute minimum of twenty people.  These giant extended families drive up to pineview with ALL the provisions.  One truck is loaded with people and tables, the next with people and chairs, the next with people and a grill.  Yes that's right.  They don't normally use the campground grills........they bring their own from home.  And the meat!  Don't even get me started on the meat.  I might occasionally be burgers and hotdogs, but for the most part it's carne asada!  Have you ever smelled carne asada on the grill?  It's mouth watering good!

It's awful trying to get my tan on while smelling a delicious meal that won't be mine.  If this exercise is hard for me, it's near impossible for Dave.  He can focus on nothing else but the scent of the grill.  I can only imagine the riot that would break out if a Mexican matriarch showed up with a cooler full of ham sandwiches to feed her hungry brood.  It would get ugly!  I don't know if anyone would survive if the cooler was replaced by an over sized ziplock full of peanut butter and jellies! 

So my family sits in peace eating these pathetic ham sandwiches while taking in the scent of the Mexican feast.  My husband looked defeated and Sasha looked sad.  The two of them already begin planning what they want for dinner......and lunch isn't even over yet.  Luckily some swimming and sand castles distract them for a bit.

Later that day I come home from a quick trip to the grocery store to find Dave on the deck, grilling something.  I put away the groceries and survey the scene.  Dave is grilling so much meat!  So many varieties too.  Something called (I'm not joking here) "Beef ball tip????", these huge chicken sausages, hot dogs and a turkey burger (for Lyla).  I guess we are having  the Atkins diet for dinner.  Once it's all ready we sit at the table for the meat feast.  Dave looks absolutely giddy like a school girl.  He is so pleased by the sight of it! 

 I start looking at this absurd dinner and it occurs to me that I purchased the turkey burger and that's it.  So I ask Dave where all this food came from.  He said that he bought all of this (and much more meat that is hiding in my fridge) at Costco on Saturday while I was working.  I asked him why he bought SO MUCH MEAT?  And this was his answer, "You weren't there to stop me.  I just went nuts because no one told me no!" This is the reason I do the grocery shopping.  Dave comes home from the grocery store with a gallon of chocolate milk, a cake and frozen burritos. 

Well then......there you have it!  Meat Feast 2012, all because Dave has a Costco credit card and no restraint.

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Down Side of Summer

I Love my kids.  I hope that doesn't even need to be said, but I do.  I will admit that it's much nicer when I have some one on one time with them individually.  That was life when Sasha was in school.  We'd have the typical chaotic morning, then Lyla and I would walk Sasha to school.  Once we dropped her off, maybe I'd take her for a walk in the stroller, or we'd just come back home, but it was just the two of us.  She had no one to fight with!  No one to bother!  She was so easy and it was an absolute joy having that time with her.

Fast forward to today and there is no break in the chaos.  The girls love one another, but they also love to bother each other.  They are either sitting together on the same side of the couch or fighting to the death for that coveted spot.  They are either playing a game together or scream crying over who gets to be red and who doesn't.  It's constant.  There is always some cause for distress (no matter how minuscule it may be....)

If one kid wants a snack twenty minutes after breakfast, the other one must have something to eat too.  Same with drinks, same with personal attention, same with getting their hair done, same with EVERYTHING!  It's exhausting.  They feed off each other.  Don't get me wrong, they love to be together, but the drama is amped up big time when they are.

The constant scrapes and bruises aren't helping anything either.  It's like once the weather warms up, the world around us turns into a giant mine field of razor blades.  I feel as though every trip outside ends with tears and band aides.  Did I mention that the three year old is TERRIFIED of band aides?  Her legs are covered in bloody scrapes and it's the band aide that ruins her life?????

 Last year I was able to keep Lyla in capri pants or leggings and that seemed to save her knees from constantly getting skinned.  At this moment in time,  she will throw a fit if she isn't wearing a skirt or a dress.   Pants are absolutely out of the question!  I thank my lucky stars for the invention of the skort because she isn't to keen on shorts either and I refuse to let her do the peep show dress dance.

I'm sure I'll adjust to the constant squealing and arguing.  It's probably just my routine that I miss.  I need the order that comes from school schedule.  I can't dink around the house all day doing a little of this project and a little of that cleaning when I'm on the kindergarten three hour schedule.  It helps me prioritize and manage my time a lot better.  I don't want to be that lady that wears her night gown all day with NO BRA FOR THE ENTIRE DAY.  That's not good for anyone!   My mini goal for the rest of summer is to have everyone dressed by 11:30, and I hope to have some mascara on my lashes as well. That sounds do-able!

Honestly, I just need to enjoy the sounds of the screaming daughters because next year Sasha will be in school ALL DAY LONG and Lyla will start pre-school.  This is all good stuff, yet I already know it's going to be a hard pill to swallow.  Even my husband said that all day school seems "a bit excessive" for our oldest.  We all did though and it was fine.  It's probably a much bigger adjustment for their mothers than it is for the kids.  At least that's how it feels here.  So, I'm off to enjoy some squealing girls while they're both still here with me.......but I'm putting on my bra first.