Sunday, March 11, 2012

Meth People

Wow, what an exciting trip to Walmart I had today. I always shop for groceries Sunday afternoon and I had thought that the meth people get their two hours of sleep at that time of day, because I just haven't seen very many tweekers lately. Well, the streek is over. I saw the weirdest meth heads today. It was like a train wreck and I couldn't look away. There were two women, dressed sort of like twins. That is to say they both had on really awful jeans and matching flannel shirt jackets. They both wore velcro shoes (I know, where the hell does a grown up buy velcro shoes????) and they had the 90 year old faces of hard core, turbo meth heads. They both had horrendous hair, because that always looks best in a mug shot, and they both looked like drugs had beaten the shit of them. It was so strange that I had to let a fellow shopper in on the action. The meth twins didn't need much time to shop (old looking, but not slow moving). They had one cart and it was overflowing with (no not Sudafed) Walmart brand paper towels and Walmart brand toilet paper. I'm talking like 50 rolls of paper towels. It was so strange. I had no idea that a meth lab required so many paper towels. It makes sense I guess. If you're cleaning up a toxic spill, you don't want to ruin your "nice" towels. It was just a wild freakshow and I couldn't believe it was all real, but my cashier told me that this is not the first time that the meth twins had shown up in twinner clothes and gone on a strange shopping rampage. Don't worry, I totally asked the cashier if they always buy paper products, or if it's normally chemicals and sudafed. She just laughed.

Side note: My spell checker went nuts on this post. Apparently Tweeker, Sudafed, Meth, freakshow, Walmart and twinner , are not words found in the English dictionary. So I hope I've spelled them correctly.


  1. What Walmart? I wish I would have witnessed this myself. Then I would have turned to my daughter, and said " Now THATS!....why you never do drugs!" Gross.

    1. Neighborhood Walmart in south Ogden. And i totally showed my daughter and told her NEVER EVER to do drugs.