Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Don't Scare Me Anymore

My five year old daughter doesn't know it, but she is trying to find the worst possible ways to wake me up in the morning. I use the term "morning", but what I really mean is quarter to dawn. She always wakes up at quarter to dawn. School could begin at 6:45 and she would be there with bells on. I'm not accustomed to sleeping in, but I do like to keep my eyes closed until 6:59 if possible. We have been dealing with Sasha's early rising for quite some time. Long, long ago, we put a digital clock in her room. I asked her to wait for the 6 to turn into a 7 and then we can all be awake. She is more than welcome to wake up super early and play with her things in her room. She is usually really good at this. She can be found counting the money in her piggy bank (literally counting like 1 coin, 2 coins, 3 coins) at 6:15 in the A.M. She has built many mega block castles before the sun has even considered rising. I just accept that this is the way she is. It's not a problem at all until she gets bored and comes looking for company. When she wants to wake me up, she is very stealth. She won't make a single sound until she is 6 inches from my face, and then all at once she will loudly and abruptly say, "Hey MOM!". I jump up because I am scared to death, confused and my heart is racing. I asked her to stop doing that, and she agreed, so yesterday I'm sleeping soundly and I feel a tiny finger drawing a line on my forehead that would connect my eyebrows to one another. This if far worse than having "HEY MOM!" screamed in your face. I nearly punched her accidentally. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I didn't know if my murderer was drawing on my face before killing me or if a spider was using my face as a shortcut. Maybe my husband is cruisin' for a bruisin'. I just didn't know and it scared me to death. I jerked up outta bed so fast that my neck still hurts today. She was waking me up to tell me that she needed to pee.....she is 5, she can pee independently and she walked past two bathrooms to tell me this. Her dad was already up and she bypassed him to alert me. I know she loves me, but this is ridiculous. The only worse way to wake up is to the sound of a two year old yelling the words, "I need go POO POOOOOOO! Really really bad!" from a far away crib. Either way, I'm up for good. I never thought I'd miss the calming sound of a blaring alarm clock.

1 comment:

  1. I continue to laugh out loud, cuz your description is so vivid,

    I can see it happening. You are too comical. Gram