Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Tattoos on Pinterest


I LOVE Pinterest.  But I don't like all the tattoo worship that goes on over there.  I don't get upset by tattooed folks, but the overt adoration of "ink" is dumb in my opinion.  I like art, but I think it looks best on a canvas on your walls.  Thay way you can drop it off to the salvation army store in 10 years when you can't stand it anymore ("why was I so obsessed with sunflowers?")  So many people, especially young people, have "Tattoo Boards".  I feel the urge to roll my eyes every time I come across one of these.  Apparently, you are now required by the laws of social media, to take a photo of your "ink" and post it on Facebook and Pinterest.  What's the point of permanently decorating yourself?  These days the point seems to be this, it's become a desperate attempt to get attention.  "Look at me, Look at me.  Please, someone look at me and say something, so I can feel adored or I defend myself in the battle of my own free will!"

Thank you Pinterest for filling this need on a grand scale.  Most of the "tat" photos on Pinterest have lots of comments under them.  Half are adoring comments from strangers, the other half are reminders of reality and gravity.  By that I mean comments such as, "That's gonna look like shit when you're 70" or "Good luck getting a job with that spider web on your face!".  Legitimate points indeed that spark a furious rage in tattoo lovers.
Hope you don't get fat or old!

I'm a firm believer in the phrase, "To each their own".  David Beckham is my celeb crush and he has tons of tattoos.  I think he's crazy hot and I'd be delighted if he chose to tattoo my name across his chest or his phone number on his forehead.  More power to ya hottie!    I'm not the least bit bothered by strangers covering their bodies in tattoos, but the reality is this.  If you cover your body in visible tattoos, you will be judged by the public.  It's an obvious no brainer.  Your look is the best way for strangers to get a feel for who you are before they get to know you.  Your skin is your cover and your content will be judged by it.  Honestly a body covered in tattoos gives the general public a lot more information about you than plain skin.  For instance, if you have a tattoo on your face, I could no nothing more about you and I can confidently say that I'd feel most comfortable if you were still in jail.  That's a snap judgement, but it's the way it is and I'm not alone here.

There are plenty of bare skinned people who are just awful, but that bare skin isn't giving anything away or calling out for commentary.  It's not drawing any unwanted attention and really, isn't that what tattoos are for?  Anyone who believes that tattoo are really personal ought to be putting them in more personal places on their bodies.

And I have to say that the deep "meanings" are weird too.   I will admit that I giggle a little inside when people on L.A. Ink and shows like that, go into their longs stories about what their new ink represents.  "This dragon represents my brief stint in karate and how the dragon ate my soul and then barfed it up brand new!"  or "My grandpa died and I loved him so I needed his picture on my back where I can't see it."  My grandpa died too and I loved him dearly, but I don't think he expected a permanent pictorial on my back or arm.  All grandparents die, it's not unique.  Pets too for that matter, and surprise surprise, you will die too!  Might as well go ahead and get your own photo on your own back, so folks will know what the front of your face looks like without actually looking at it.  This is only my opinion here.  No judgement.

I have a tattoo myself and it does have deep meaning.  It's a snowflake and it means that at age seventeen, I was a short sighted, master manipulator, with season pass to a ski resort.  I now have kids and bills, and I haven't been snowboarding in six years.  I sort of dislike snow these days.  It's on my lower back, which my children like to call my "butt" and Vince Vaughn famously calls a "bullseye" in Wedding Crashers.  They always ask me why I have a snowflake on my butt and how it got there.  My answer is always the same.  "Well girls, it got there because mom was a dumb teenager who couldn't imagine maturing past the ripe old age of seventeen.  It stays there, because it would look even worse if I tried to get rid of it."  My kids assure me that it will wash off eventually.  Fingers crossed!

P.S.
Your parents probably don't want you getting tattooed and you probably won't want your own kids getting tattooed.  The thought of either of my girls growing up and getting permantently decorated is an upsetting thought to me.  I'll understand their desire to do so and  I wouldn't stop speaking to them or be mad or anything, but the thought is heartbreaking for some reason.

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