Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Dumbest Buyer

I almost sold a wagon today. I put an ad for it on KSL, which is a local online classified ad, much like Craigs list, but way less creepy. I'm 99% sure that you can't find a transvestite hooker on KSL.  So this lady that's interested in the wagon called me and asked me a bunch of dumb questions about it. I answered them all, but in my head I was thinking, "It's a kids wagon idiot! The photo really tells the whole story on something like that." These really were some thought provoking questions like, "Can a person that's 5'8"pull it?", to which I answered, "Does this person have arms?"

I guess the wagon passed the test because she was ready to drop the hammer and make the deal. She told me that her dad or father in law would be driving past Ogden and he would pick it up. She then asked me if I could meet him by the freeway to make the exchange. Now, KSL deals already feel a bit drug deal-ish,  but meeting just off the freeway in Ogden would make it more like an actual drug deal, so I picked a busy gas station near the mall. When grandpa called, I gave him directions to get there. I made what would later be considered a critical mistake and told him to get off at the 30th street exit. I did this only because you take 30th street to get on the freeway and I totally forgot that the freeway exit was on 31st.

So I drive down to the gas station and wait, and wait and wait some more. I finally get a hold of the guy on the phone and discover that this guy is dumber than a box of rocks. I should have expected as much. He tells me that he saw a 31st street exit (a major freeway exit) and he thought he'd better stay on the freeway a while longer to see if a 30th street exit would appear. Ogden is a pretty solid grid of a town and the ascending numerical exits like, 12th, 21st, 24th and then 31st just threw him for a loop. Mind you Ogden is NOT a sprawling metropolis, but it was so crazy for this man that he honestly thought a 30th street exit would appear a few more miles south. WRONG!

Then he somehow turned around and tried this frightening 31st exit. He then ignores all my directions and calls me back from the airport which is not even close to where he was supposed to be. Apparently "east of the freeway" changes when you change directions. I guided him back to the freeway and told him to forget about the wagon because I don't have any signal flares on me to guide him the direction I told him to drive. He told me we could try it again another day and I said, probably not.  Then I did what I should have done in the first place and dropped it off at Kid 2 Kid. SOLD! Sometimes I forget how much I dislike the general public. Not today though. I went to a sketchy Walmart  this morning and dealt with these fools in the afternoon. I'm thankful that the red wagon isn't taking up space in my garage tonight! Happy Thanksgiving!

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