Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Man Closet

I currently have a small stack of clean, folded clothes in my laundry room that I have no idea what to do with.  They aren't clothes that the kids outgrew, they are Dave's clothes (and he didn't outgrow them either).  Aside from his socks and underwear, I can't put his clean clothes away.  This is because his side of our closet is organized in a way that only a man's brain can understand.  There are MANY piles, none of which make any sense to me.

Man Closet Piles:
  1. Pants that he wears-  This consists of the four pairs of pants that fit and get worn.
  2. Pants that don't fit right- These are jeans that are far too short.  (he's 6'5" and should NEVER buy jeans in a store!  He must order tall sizes online.)
  3. Pants to wear in case he paints -  Dave hasn't painted a room since we finished our our old house.  That was roughly 7 years ago, but he must keep torn up jeans on hand just in case this happens again.  He's so prepared for this that he keeps 3 or 4 pairs of ripped up jeans. 
  4. Pants and shorts that he will never ever wear again-  This is the dumbest pile of all, but I sort of get it.  I have a sub pile just like this, but I lovingly keep these items at the bottom of my good clothes stack.  It's a denial issue for sure.  I might really love flared leg jeans next year, you just never know (except that you do know and the answer is get rid of them).
  5. Relaxin' pants-  This pile has at least 6 pairs of "at home pants", most of which are either too tight or way too short.  Some should really be called "relaxin' capri's".
  6. Shirts in heavy rotation a.k.a. shirts that fit-  Roughly 10 shirt that fit.  They are good looking  T-shirts that have been consistently dried on the low heat cycle.  They ALL cover his belly button.
  7. Belly Shirts-  Dave isn't fat at all, just long.  He has a frightening number of shirts that expose the skin between his button and his underwear.  I HATE these shirts and I'm slowly removing them from his wardrobe (without his knowledge).
  8. In case we paint shirts!-  Again, he could get called into a painting situation at any time.  I swear he thinks he's been on call for an emergency paint job for the last 7 years.  Thankfully, the call has never come, but if it does.....he's freakin' ready to roll.
  9. Butt ugly relaxin' shirts-  This stack includes a Weber State shirt that has been washed 7000 times and is on it's last leg.  He tries to wear this shirt EVERYWHERE.  He enjoys the breeze that blows through all the tiny holes.   This also include his "Schrute Farm Beets" shirt, his Napoleon Dynamite shirt, his Dunder Mifflin shirt and a boat load of shirts that he's won over the years.  And don't worry, none of these shirts fit either!
  10. Work Clothes-  He has a full time job, so these are the only clothes he really needs.  These are the clothes that actually get used.  I sure hope he's able to stay with this company, because he'll continue wearing shirts with their company logo on it for the next 20 years, at which point they will turn into "in case we paint shirts".

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