Friday, February 22, 2013

Hardcore Runner

Here in Utah, we see every season to it's fullest. It's so cold your snot freezes in February and by July you're seeing a freak mirage in the street because it's so hot and dry. Some folks adapt well to the change, acting as though weather has no effect on them. These weirdos are the hardcores.

This morning, I woke up to snow on the ground and the sky was eagerly dumping more. It's sure pretty, but you know the roads are going to icy and you have to factor in time for shoveling. It's only a few months out of the year, but still when you're running late, it's an inconvenience for sure. This morning was just that. I'm trying to get the kids in the car to get them to school and I have to hurry and do some quick cardio shoveling of the drive way. I moved the snow really fast and broke a little sweat to warm me up. Now we pull out of the driveway in a super low gear and four wheel drive in hopes that our car doesn't slide straight down the hill into the school cross walk.

We took it really slow and arrived at the first stop, the elementary school, without incident. Kids are slipping left and right and plenty of cars are fishtailing, trying to find some traction on the slick roads. I drop off kid one and proceed to pre-school. I pull out, very slowly this time, onto a super narrow road that is always really slick. It's dangerous to drive on this narrow road, but I have no choice. That's when I see it. One of the dumbest and yet most common sights to witness on this narrow, twisty stretch of road. The hardcore runner.

Try as I might, I can't figure out the thought process of the hardcore runner. I don't know if they've just seen to many Nike ads and the compulsion to "Just Do It" is tattooed on their brains. I can't figure out why they MUST go for a run in a snow storm. I guess I should admire the dedication, but the stupidity always overrides the admiration.

A glimpse into the hardcore runners mind. I'm guessing here, so bear with me:

Why don't I just glance out the window while I drink my protein shake. Oh hell yeah, a blizzard. So my run is on for sure! Now the question is what should I wear. I totally had my heart set on my fluorescent running shorts with the one inch inseam. They seem to show off the most leg possible without exposing my nut sack (and I am a heterosexual man, so that seems normal), but I'll be practical today and just wear my spandex man leggings.

Now for my route. Let's see here. There has got to be a road nearby that has ZERO sidewalks and it must be incredibly narrow. I want to ensure that I'm either hit and killed during my morning run, or at least guarantee that traffic will have to stop while I gallivant the narrows of the barely snow plowed road. I hope those economy cars have their snow tires on, because I need my space on tiny roads. OMG, I've got it! Old Post Road, and if I time it just right, I can run it during the morning school drop off! I'm so hardcore! I'm so ready to JUST DO IT! Those Ethiopians that always win the marathons have nothing on me! Now where did I put my Nike windbreaker???? Oh yes, it's hanging on my treadmill.

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