Candid Kids

Anyone that's friends with me on Facebook knows that I have some funny kids. I'm always (probably too much) sharing the hilarious, random comments that my kids say. I can't help it though. These kids really crack me up some days. My oldest, Sasha, is usually the star of these posts, but Lyla is really coming into her own with the one liners.

Last week we were eating breakfast and out of nowhere, my four year old says, "So after Jesus made me, was I just like out in space with my space helmet on?" I'm not exactly sure myself on the details of her where abouts before she was born, so I told her that I didn't think so. I guessed that she was in my tummy at that point. She then said, "With my space helmet on???" I don't know kid.

So the other day we are sitting in a waiting room with several strangers and a woman smiles at Lyla. My daughter then looks at me and very loudly says, "That lady just smiled at me mom. She smiled because I'm the cutest thing she's ever seen in the whole wide land." Everyone in the place sort of giggled a bit. A few minutes pass and some people leave the room and new folks arrive. It's pretty quiet now and Lyla has new information to share.

"Who did that fart?" I quietly shake my head at her, hoping that she'll stop. This kid goes C.S.I. when it comes to flatulence. She won't stop until she solves the case. It plagues her.  "I heard a fart mom. Who did that fart? Sasha, did you do that fart?" I am about to crack up, but I shake my head again, encouraging her to drop the subject. Sasha tells her that she is NOT responsible for the fart and tells Lyla to stop it. Lyla then says, "Probably one of them did it", and she gestures toward the strangers in the room who are desperately trying to ignore my kid. Now I am embarrassed for all of us. She then thankfully wraps it up with this little gem, "Well, maybe I probably did it. Sorry!"

In the end, I'm just thankful that it was the fart thing she latched on to. At age four, it could have been a lot worse. Lyla has hit an age where she is certain that any woman with an over sized belly has at least a couple of babies in her tummy. I will be mortified if this guess of hers is ever revealed in a quiet waiting room. We usually hear that one at grocery stores or restaurants where other noise drowns it out. We also get Sasha's fashion police comments like, "Wow, that outfit is VERY inappropriate. I can see way too much of that ladies boobs. She really needs a belt too mom, because I can see the top of her butt. Who's mom would let them dress like that?"

Inappropriate is one of the most used words in this house. I like that the kids are getting a feel for what is appropriate and what seems very inappropriate, especially when it relates to clothing choices. It probably doesn't help that they read US Weekly magazine while they get their hair done each day. As soon as those kids step foot in my salon, they simply can't sit down in my chair without grabbing a gossip magazine. They love to critique every one's ensemble. No one is safe, not even Miley Cyrus's dad, Brad Pitt.

Brad Pitt

Billy Ray Cyrus

 
Sasha is absolutely certain that these two people are the same man. They are both Miley's dad, and they both need to tell Miley that her outfits have been VERY inappropriate lately, and that her hair looks better longer.


Honest too a fault I guess. I shouldn't enjoy their comments nearly as much as I do.