Where do you even find a guy like that?

I loved the Bachelorette finale!  I didn't see any of that coming.  Emily had her last date with sweet Jef and she let him meet her daughter.  It went so well and she felt so good about it, that she didn't even have her last date with Arie.  She told him she'd already made up her mind about Jef and she let him leave before the final day.  I thought she made a great decision.  My husband was shocked because Emily was always making out with  Arie and Dave just assumed that she'd choose him.  They had plenty of chemistry and it was obvious.  She had really strong feelings for Jef too, but the physical side was not as overwhelmingly obvious on camera.  If Emily was just a single, childless gal, I'm certain she would have chosen Arie.  Her practical, mother side led her to choose Jef.  He will be a great husband.  He will be a fantastic dad, and I believe he'll commit to all of those things sooner than later.  She made a great choice, and I'm glad she made the choice with her head and her heart, rather than with just her lady bits (if ya know what I mean). 

I don't know if men know about that side of women?  There's that age old cliche about men having two brains, one upstairs and one downstairs.  Well I firmly believe that women are the same way when it comes to their  decisions about men.  This is why we all know at least one young lady who is dating a jerk that doesn't deserve her yet.  Girls  also make rotten relationship decisions based solely on physical attraction and that crazy chemistry.  I vividly recall myself and many of my girlfriends having at least one "boyfriend" (we all know what I really mean by that word) that was amazing, but not even remotely falling into the category of relationship /marriage material.  Sometimes physical chemistry can over power all your sensibilities.  What can I say?  It happens.  The best you can hope for is a few moments of clarity where you recognize that you'll  be needing a lot more than just chemistry if you want a lasting marriage. 

I don't mean any disrespect to Arie on this.  He's awesome!  On After the Final Rose, he admitted that he was so heart broken that he flew to Emily's hometown and left a journal, that he'd kept during the filming of the Bachelorette, on her door step.  He thought that if she just read his candid thoughts and feeling about falling in love with her, that she'd understand his love and change her mind.   I was blown away by that.  I loved it.  Where do you find a guy like that?  That was so romantic and sweet.  I've never even seen that move in a movie.  Emily didn't read it, out of respect for her new fiance, and she kindly returned it to him, letting him know that no good could come from her reading it.  Still, I thought the gesture was so tender.  I momentarily wondered if I screwed up my dating years by not being a botoxed, blond with fake boobs and fake teeth?  Where did I go wrong?  Dave did some super sweet things that sealed the deal for us when we were dating, but Arie went above and beyond and he wasn't even the best guy there.  Jef is out of this world great.

I've been married for 10 years and honestly I don't even know what criteria you should use when choosing the person you'll marry, but I feel like it has to be more than just that weak in the knees, butterflies in your stomach stuff. Although that stuff is is some of the best stuff in the world.  I think Emily feels like that for Jef too, and he just seems like the safer bet out of the two of those remaining guys.   I hope it works out for Emily and Jef.  All that being said, I am so pumped for the premiere of Bachelor Pad.  I very much look forward to eight weeks of debauchery!